secrets and truth

The truth comes at a cost. Is that price too high?

Do I really love you?

20.

The prospect of being broke at 20 does not excite me.

Questions.

I have dreams. I have hopes. But a part of me thinks I'll never fulfill my dreams, or even attempt them. I want to be a pastry chef. I want to work hard and be so damn proud of myself that no one else matters. Now there's the problem. There is someone who matters, there is someone who I have to think about, I can't be selfish, it make me wonder when I was last selfish. I know exactly when. When did being 20 become so damn hard? When did I start wanting more than I have? Am I greedy? Why am I so afraid? Would anyone else ever love me? Does he miss me? Is this how it's supposed to be? Where did that girl go? When did I stop caring? When did I start caring again? Why do I need him to back me up? To tell me I'm doing the right thing? What am I willing to give up? What am I willing to change? Is this who I want to be? Is this who I am? Was he right? Will I ever achieve anything more? Why are there so many questions? What am I going to do? Am I even going to do anything? Am I happy?