I haven't blogged in a while because I really haven't had and still don't have anything to say. I guess I'm being alot more careful with my thoughts these days. It's funny really, I can't believe one person has such an impact that I'm too self conscious to write.

I know what I want to write. But I won't.

quack.

I'm disgusted by your behaviour the other night. You're 18 years old not 2. You're supposed to be my friend and be supportive and be happy for me. But this isn't the case. I don't understand I don't. Grow up because I can't do this forever, I'm not going to go out of my way to try and please you and to try and make you happy. I won't do it.

fuck you emma.

I need to hear everything you never got the chance to say to me. The good the bad and the down right ugly. I need to hear you get angry with me and I need to understand why we are the way we are. I hurt you and that is my biggest regret it truly is. I blame myself and only myself. For so much more than you could ever imagine. You have bottled so much up for years please use this opportunity to yell and scream and shout and get it all off your chest. I want you to feel better.

Grillin at the bank.

Hate. It's such a strong emotion. It's the equal opposite to love. I understand why you hate me, I do but if you hate me so much why do you still wear my number?

I seen you standing there,
I felt your cold hard stare.
If looks could kill
Out my brains would spill
My hair stood on end.
Funny feeling to get from a one time friend.
Your lips pursed
Hard to remember your wounds I nursed?
If you hate me so
Why is it so hard to let go?
My number, Bang, Smack
Sitting pretty in the center of your back.
You'll never forgive
As long as we both shall live.
You'll never forget.
But you will always regret.

Stephen King

Monsters are real. Ghosts are too. They live inside us & sometimes they win.

sometimes they win. When they win does that make you a bad person? Does that make you weak? When they win and you don't feel guilty, and you don't feel remorse and you don't feeling anything does that make you a bad person?

vegemite.

and then you go again. and I miss you. all over again.

simplicity

It's nights like these that mean the most. They are so simple, nothing overly special and nothing exciting but they are the best. They make me smile. I love the ease of it :)

I have had such a great start to 2011 hopefully I haven't just jinxed that. But last night/this morning was fabulous and I'm so thankful and excited too. It's all new and it's going to be a learning experience and it's going to require alot of change on my part but I'm looking forward to the year to come.