She's pretty. I know this.
You want a girlfriend. I know this.
She's wholesome. I know this.
You want a good girl. I know this.

She's crazy, she's unpredictable. she smokes. I know this.
She's alot like me. I know this.
She's my friend. You know this.

It's kinda funny, the double standards I mean. I'm not allowed near your friends. I'm not allowed to be alone with them or have their numbers because you know me, you know what I'm like. But then you go and chase a friend of mine. A girl who tried to be just like me, to live my life... who has gone after more than one guy that I've been with. You ask me everytime I see you if I've slept with someone else, If I've kissed a random at the pub... And yet you go after MY FRIEND.

Now I'm glad I lied. Every single time you asked me directly if i'd been with anyone else I looked you in the eye and I said No. Over and over and over I said no. I'd hate to see what would of happened if I'd been truthful.

All I want to do is go home.

Duck.

When I was going through a rough patch way back when... I used to write poems to convey my thoughts and feelings. So recently in this time of confusion I've done the same thing both of these are for you Duck. I'm sorry I truly am. But such is life baby.

Duck

Why do you even try?
When all I do is lie...
You ask and you ask
Can't you see through my mask?
Yes. He was in my bed last night
And Yes. I'm lying to avoid another fight
But you're so quick to believe,
And too easy to decieve
A friend with visiting rights
That's what I was those first few nights
Now your jealousy is oh so clear
Are you telling me no-one else can visit here?
Baby you need to decide
Or I may injure your pride
With my lust and my greed
Just tell me I'm the one you need.

duck.

So I spent weeks convincing myself we we're over. That I'd lost my friend as well as everything else. Then you look at me in that way. And you touch me and my skin egnites. Then you kiss me like that. Now I don't know what to think. If you say to me. Stay in Albury. Don't go home. I will.

somedays I wonder how you'd handle it if our roles were reversed. If it was you who wakes up with bruises after "harmless fun".If you laid awake at night mulling over my words. You do actually hurt me. Alot more than you think.

So you throw me off the bed, slam me into a table and add more bruises to my body and then you expect me to blow you? Wow.

fears.

I'm afraid of knives. I'm afraid of the ocean and I'm afraid of emu's.

Everyone is afraid of something.