So with all these exams happening and what not I've been thinking (well obviously emma.) But some people spent the last two weeks, before exams studying like crazy. eating, sleeping, and studying. I know of people studying 8hrs a day.. thats sheer insanity. What if tomorrow the world ended? befor eyou could finish your exams, before you find out the results... what would you say? would you honestly be able to say you lived your life to the fullest? would you regret those last 2 weeks if you realised they didnt matter?
You could lose your life at any given moment of any given day, and I certainly wouldnt want to have wasted 2 weeks on something that in the end didnt matter.. They have pathways to uni for a reason. So while you studied your ass off for two weeks, I lived. I did things that made me happy, I spent time with and admittedly said goodbye to amazing people. I could die today and be happy with my life, with what i've achieved and the obstacles I've over come. I've been to amazing places, met some incredible people, done stupid and awesome things. If you were to die today could you say the same?
23.10.09
20.10.09
HSC/ education system rant.
Tomorrow I am supposed to sit in an exam room with 100+ other people and write about crap. I don't get the HSC,It can be somewhat hypocritical, they are force feeding us the opinions of some bozo who is sitting behind a desk eating doughnuts all day. I don't agree with the syllabus so how the hell am I supposed to write to the best of my ability on a subject that I don't believe in? If I don't believe the shit I am writing of course my essay is going to be bad, theres no heart!
I don't need to belong, people don't need to belong. We are not Lions who belong to a pack in order to survive, Jeez Hermits live isolated from others and still survive fine, they may even be better off than us who are still surrounded by other people. Rejection is human nature, we reject the unfamiliar, its instinct not vindictiveness...
Somneone tell me why this is relevant anyway? Why can't we be given a broad topic and write about that? Something we believe passionately in, something we are going to whole heartedly attempt to the best of our abilities.. Its sheer ridiculousness. And the fact we can't write a poem and or song lyrics as our creative task is pathetic. If I can write a 10 page poem, I'm sure others can.. Isn't this supposed to be about us performing to our full potential? Personally I think the system is out to get us, intentionally out to shut us down, break us.
In a subject like english, which is cumpolsary there should be more freedom. Some of the topics we studied just baffel me. Take for instance "distinctly visual" judging by the title you would think we are supposed to concentrate on visual elements of a text, whether it be the imagery the words create, the props used in a play, the film techniques and camera angles in a movie... but No, thats just a minor part of it, we are supposed to focus on the themes. Well Bored of Studies I say FUCK YOU and ram your stupid english syllabus up your ass.
I don't need to belong, people don't need to belong. We are not Lions who belong to a pack in order to survive, Jeez Hermits live isolated from others and still survive fine, they may even be better off than us who are still surrounded by other people. Rejection is human nature, we reject the unfamiliar, its instinct not vindictiveness...
Somneone tell me why this is relevant anyway? Why can't we be given a broad topic and write about that? Something we believe passionately in, something we are going to whole heartedly attempt to the best of our abilities.. Its sheer ridiculousness. And the fact we can't write a poem and or song lyrics as our creative task is pathetic. If I can write a 10 page poem, I'm sure others can.. Isn't this supposed to be about us performing to our full potential? Personally I think the system is out to get us, intentionally out to shut us down, break us.
In a subject like english, which is cumpolsary there should be more freedom. Some of the topics we studied just baffel me. Take for instance "distinctly visual" judging by the title you would think we are supposed to concentrate on visual elements of a text, whether it be the imagery the words create, the props used in a play, the film techniques and camera angles in a movie... but No, thats just a minor part of it, we are supposed to focus on the themes. Well Bored of Studies I say FUCK YOU and ram your stupid english syllabus up your ass.
18.10.09
I DON’T believe in.
I’m often asked what I believe in. I can’t answer that question anymore. However I can tell you some things I DON’T believe in.
I DON’T believe in God.
I DON’T believe in Marriage.
I DON’T believe in Forever.
I DO believe that everybody leaves.
Regardless who they are, what they mean to you or what they say. In the end they will not be there. Friends and Family included. Every single person in your life will leave you behind at some point. Your paths may cross for a while but then they veer away from each other. That’s just life baby.
I DO believe that our experiences are what make and break us.
Every person is an individual who is affected in a different way by an event. Especially a traumatic one. It’s these events in our lives that determine the kind of person we are. You could give up, sink and refuse to even try and survive OR you could be strong and fight like hell to save yourself. No one is magically going to save you. You have to believe enough in yourself to fight, to survive. Resilience.
I DON’T believe in God.
I DON’T believe in Marriage.
I DON’T believe in Forever.
I DO believe that everybody leaves.
Regardless who they are, what they mean to you or what they say. In the end they will not be there. Friends and Family included. Every single person in your life will leave you behind at some point. Your paths may cross for a while but then they veer away from each other. That’s just life baby.
I DO believe that our experiences are what make and break us.
Every person is an individual who is affected in a different way by an event. Especially a traumatic one. It’s these events in our lives that determine the kind of person we are. You could give up, sink and refuse to even try and survive OR you could be strong and fight like hell to save yourself. No one is magically going to save you. You have to believe enough in yourself to fight, to survive. Resilience.
Arkham Asylum Psychological Evaluation.
So on facebook just being bored I did a random quiz.
The Arkham Asylum Psychological Evaluation. Now this quizzes are usually a load of crap, unfortunately this one pretty much nailed me.
This is what it said
"You are Black Mask. Spiritual and fatalistic, your beliefs, dreams and emotions guide your ambitions. You are cynical and trust very few because you believe superficiality runs the world. This does not prevent you from being superficial to attain your goals. Your mission is to expose the ugliness of attractive people and mar their beauty. When you are angry, you humiliate your enemies in the most merciless way possible and let them destroy themselves through their own shame. Though your life for the most part has been fairly normal, it is marked by a string of significant setbacks harsh enough to force you to completely reinvent yourself as a more socially magnanimous person, but this is merely a facade. You don't know how to be true to yourself and your life is marked by self-hatred, envy, and a constant quest to find yourself. Yet your intelligence and insight, combined with your legendary vindictiveness, is remarkable enough to reach anyone who has wronged you and hurt them very, very badly. Some say you can see the future. Perhaps you can.
"I have no delusions of divinity. We are men, not gods. Man is his own god, his own devil, his own death--we are created in our own image, yet imprisoned by the face we call our own. I will remake the world as I have remade my face, so that they may confront their ugliness and find for themselves what is beautiful." ~Black Mask "
The Arkham Asylum Psychological Evaluation. Now this quizzes are usually a load of crap, unfortunately this one pretty much nailed me.
This is what it said
"You are Black Mask. Spiritual and fatalistic, your beliefs, dreams and emotions guide your ambitions. You are cynical and trust very few because you believe superficiality runs the world. This does not prevent you from being superficial to attain your goals. Your mission is to expose the ugliness of attractive people and mar their beauty. When you are angry, you humiliate your enemies in the most merciless way possible and let them destroy themselves through their own shame. Though your life for the most part has been fairly normal, it is marked by a string of significant setbacks harsh enough to force you to completely reinvent yourself as a more socially magnanimous person, but this is merely a facade. You don't know how to be true to yourself and your life is marked by self-hatred, envy, and a constant quest to find yourself. Yet your intelligence and insight, combined with your legendary vindictiveness, is remarkable enough to reach anyone who has wronged you and hurt them very, very badly. Some say you can see the future. Perhaps you can.
"I have no delusions of divinity. We are men, not gods. Man is his own god, his own devil, his own death--we are created in our own image, yet imprisoned by the face we call our own. I will remake the world as I have remade my face, so that they may confront their ugliness and find for themselves what is beautiful." ~Black Mask "
16.10.09
Fight
Ok, So I just finished reading pretty much all of Judds blogs...
One in particular got me.
When you hit a low point in your life, only you can save your self, no matter what anyone else tries to tell you. "God" is not magically going to come and save you. You have to save yourself, You have to fight like hell and not take the easy way out. Your problems wont go away unless your ready to make them go away. Countless times people told me to stop, asked me to stop, begged me to stop. I always said I would, But each and everytime I lied. I didn't want to stop, so I couldn't physicaly stop. It wasn't until one day when I woke up and decided I was going to stop that I actually did stop. Sure It's hard, and its an uphill battle alot of the time, I tripped, stumbled and fell on numerous occasions and each time I stuggled to get back up, But I did it and yes I had some help, but for the most part I did it alone.
Before I go any further, do not think that for one second this is for sympathy or anything like that. I'm backing up my statements and beliefs with personal experience.
People suffer all the time. People deal with so many different things, what makes a person great is their resilience. If you fight like hell and manage to survive, I salute you.
One in particular got me.
When you hit a low point in your life, only you can save your self, no matter what anyone else tries to tell you. "God" is not magically going to come and save you. You have to save yourself, You have to fight like hell and not take the easy way out. Your problems wont go away unless your ready to make them go away. Countless times people told me to stop, asked me to stop, begged me to stop. I always said I would, But each and everytime I lied. I didn't want to stop, so I couldn't physicaly stop. It wasn't until one day when I woke up and decided I was going to stop that I actually did stop. Sure It's hard, and its an uphill battle alot of the time, I tripped, stumbled and fell on numerous occasions and each time I stuggled to get back up, But I did it and yes I had some help, but for the most part I did it alone.
Before I go any further, do not think that for one second this is for sympathy or anything like that. I'm backing up my statements and beliefs with personal experience.
People suffer all the time. People deal with so many different things, what makes a person great is their resilience. If you fight like hell and manage to survive, I salute you.
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